This Friday’s Ten Best Pictures Ever*

*That I’ve Ever Taken Or Are Of Me Or That I Altered In Some Form or Fashion

10) Mr. Schmee & His “Wife”

“This picture isn’t crazy, it’s sweet.” NO. It’s crazy, because Mr. Schmee over there on the left was the Ring Bearer and the little girl on the right was the flower girl. And that smooch? Mr.Schmee decided that it meant they were the ones who got married and nothing we did would convince him otherwise. It was “Dis my wife. Wew maiwied,” for over a year. Stop “aww-ing” – it was only cute for a week or two. After that it was annoying.

9) Fire Drill

What fun is a fire drill in your office building without an actual fire. NONE. So I made a fire. Obviously a fake fire or that guy in the green sweater wouldn’t be smiling. He’d be screaming. Unless he was Satan. But he’s not. I don’t think.  I’ll ask him on Monday.

8) Adam Ima Cat

Adam Ima Cat was our skinny cat, and Steve Issa Cat was our fat cat. Until Adam got fat. Now we have two fat cats.  And Adam would like it if you would get in his belly. Willingly of course. He’s too lazy to actually get up and chase you.

6) Kids Love the Great Wolf Lodge

They love it so much that this is what they do the day you come home from the Great Wolf Lodge. And well into the night as well. 

5) Kids Also Love the First Day Preschool

I have pictures of Tomboy Princess not crying, but they’re not nearly as cute as this. Also. She just punched me in the arm.  And now she’s made me an offer I can’t refuse. She will let me keep posting pictures of her crying when she was little if I buy her a large ice cream from Braum’s tomorrow. Oh – and her older brothers only get a medium or a small. 8 Year Olds are pretty deft negotiators.

4) Super Awesome Husband Loves Me

I know this because when I was stuck in a hotel room last month with TP because she came down with the flu while we were on vacation, he came back to the room with THIS for me. He’s knows the fast way to a girl’s heart for sure. Hail to the king, baby.

3) My Pet Rock

TP was sad that I couldn’t have a pet at work, so she made me one.  Oh good – she just left the room. Don’t tell her I said this, but he scares me. And I’m pretty sure that the reason I see a different cleaning lady every time I stay late at the office is because he has eaten the previous one.

2)The Last Basselope

I love Basset Hounds (see here.) I also love Berkley Breathed (see here. oh wait. never mind. I’ve never written about him before.) So when he wrote “The Last Basselope” I fell in love with it. So much so that when I had the opportunity to buy a square for a fundraiser to create a picture with glow in the dark paint, that’s what I painted. It looked pretty awesome under the black light too. Also – my Bill the Cat voice is amazing. In case you were wondering.

1) And Of Course I’m Number 1

I’m such a kindhearted person that when I got a new office chair that was super fancy and expensive - I emailed myself in it to all the other chicks in the office who were sitting in crappy chairs. (TP stop reading that part – you’re not allowed to say “crappy”.  Yes. Even if you’re reading what someone else wrote. You just skip over that part. Can we talk about this later? I need to finish this.)

My plan is to write like a mad woman over the next couple of days, so that when I go to New York for a couple of days next week my blog will trudge forward like the trooper that it is. We’ll see how that goes.