So I discovered today that a post including the words “beer” and “bear” brought more people to my blog than any other words in this blog’s 3 week history. So I decided to make this post only about bears, beer, and bears with beer. I know that’s not my target demographic (I actually don’t even know what my target demographic is), so thanks for letting me conduct this study which is being funded by the $0.82 I found under the keyboard.
BEST TELEVISION BEAR CONVERSATION
Jim Halpert: Question. What kind of bear is best?
Dwight Schrute: That’s a ridiculous question.
Jim Halpert: False. Black bear.
Dwight Schrute: That’s debatable. There are basically two schools of thought–
Jim Halpert: Fact. Bears eat beets. Bears. Beets. Battlestar Galactica.
Dwight Schrute: Bears do not…What is going on?! What are you doing?!
BEST TELEVISION BEER CONVERSATION
Sam: What’s new, Normie?
Norm: Terrorists, Sam. They’ve taken over my stomach and they’re demanding beer.
BEST TELEVISION CONVERSATION ABOUT BEERS & BEARS
NBC News – 2004
When state Fish and Wildlife agents recently found a black bear passed out on the lawn of Baker Lake Resort, there were some clues scattered nearby — dozens of empty cans of Rainier Beer.
“He drank the Rainier and wouldn’t drink the Busch beer,” said Lisa Broxson, bookkeeper at the campground and cabins resort east of Mount Baker.
Fish and Wildlife enforcement Sgt. Bill Heinck said the bear did try one can of Busch, but ignored the rest. The beast then consumed about 36 cans of Rainier.
A wildlife agent tried to chase the bear from the campground but the animal just climbed a tree to sleep it off for another four hours. Agents finally herded the bear away, but it returned the next morning.
Agents then used a large, humane trap to capture it for relocation, baiting the trap with the usual: doughnuts, honey and, in this case, two open cans of Rainier.
That did the trick.
“This is a new one on me,” Heinck said. “I’ve known them to get into cans, but nothing like this. And it definitely had a preference.”
BEST PICTURE OF A BEAR
BEST PICTURE OF BEER
BEST PICTURE OF BEAR AND BEER
BEST BEAR MOVIE
BEST BEER MOVIE
BEST MOVIE WITH BEER & BEARS
There isn’t one – YET!
Ever heard of Wojtek? No? He was a bear drafted into the Polish Army in 1942. For reals y’all. A Bear. Also he drank lots of beer and enjoyed an occasional cigarette. Again. Not Joking. They are working on a movie as I type. Read about him here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wojtek_(soldier_bear)
This has been a test of The EBBS (Emergency Beer & Bear System). If this had been an actual emergency, the Attention Post you just read would have been followed by official information, news or instructions. This concludes this test of the Emergency Beer & Bear System. We now return you to your regular blogging.