I’m sitting here in front of the computer trying to keep up with CrazyAsNormal’s Facebook, Twitter and Blog in my quest to become on of the best blogs in the entire world and SAH (Super Awesome Husband) brings me dinner, a Diet DP and says, “Here you go baby. After dinner I’ll start the laundry.”  You know what the most awesome part of that is? That’s not an “out of no-where” sweet surprise. That’s just who he is. And I love him for it. That and he got me a new headset and Black Ops II for Christmas.

SAH and I have been married for 19 year. 19 YEARS. Do you have any idea how long that it is? It’s FOREVER. In December it will be 20 years. 20 YEARS. That – that is ETERNITY. You want to me to tell you how this all started? You don’t? Too bad. I’m telling you anyway. 

A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away… wait that’s not right. I owe everything to George Bailey. No. Jeesh. I am not a bum. I’m a jerk. I once had wealth, power, and the love of a beautiful woman. Now I only have two things: my friends and… uh… my thermos.  Wait. No. I’ve got it – Way out west there was this fella I wanna’ tell ya about. Goes by the name of Jeff Lebowski. NO. DANGIT. People are always asking me if I know Tyler Durden…you know what, forget the grand opening lines of this story – My brain is only filled with movies quotes.

My husband and I met while working at a restaurant which shall remain nameless, but let’s just say as an assistant manager he had to ask his boss if it was okay if he asked me out and when he finally did I was wearing a Rat Costume. Well, not the head. I think I had just taken the head off and was wiping stinky sweat from my jacked up hair. And I may have possibly been panting. Like heaving panting – not the sexy kind. Have you ever tried to dance in a rat costume? No? Then stop judging.

I had absolutely nothing else going on so I agreed. I was dating a couple of other guys at the time, what was one more?  He was kind of cute and as a recent high school graduate, 5 years older was a bonus.

He picked me up and after meeting the ‘rents, he opened the car door for me (nice) and then he went to the other side, sat down and said “So – what do you want to do?” Are you kidding me? You asked me out on a date. First date EVER and you don’t have a plan.  This was the first and the last date.* (*we know that’s not true, but play along) I, trying to not sound insanely irritated replied, “It doesn’t matter.”  He then asks if I’m hungry. I’m thinking, “What do you mean am I hungry you jackwagon – you picked me up at 6 – you think I’ve already had dinner?!”, but I say, “No. I’m good,” because I’m a girl and we lie like that all the time. So we just drive around until at some point he asks me if I’ve ever seen the horse sculptures in a nearby town. I hadn’t. So we go there. We have a nice conversation and name the horses or whatever. Still not impressed. He drops me off at home that night and I walk in the house with the knowledge that this story is now over. The End. Period.

Actual Horse Sculpture and not random picture from the internet.

BUT. Then I recall when he asked me on this first date he also asked me to go to a Steve Miller concert the next Saturday which I agreed to do as well. GAMMIT.  Okay – fine. But after that, this lousy courtship is over. 

The concert was fun, but I, at my own request, met a couple of guys there I had always wanted to meet, but hadn’t yet. Bartles & Jaymes. And they were fun. They were so fun I partied with them, and my date of course, 3 times.  I had never met anyone like them ever. Except for that short period of time we were Episcopal and their communion is the real deal.

Concert was pretty awesome, but Bartles & Jaymes ended up being complete jerkfaces. Date is driving down the freeway after the concert and suddenly Bartles & Jaymes want to leave. Date politely pulls over so I can let them out. Done, right? No – we have to let them out of the car like 4 or 5 more times. Top ten list of “Most Embarrassing Moments in My Entire Life.” Also. I have to go home now and pretend like I’m fine and I was not drinking or getting drunk or getting sick from it for the first time in my entire life. (Hi Mom & Dad! Sorry we didn’t discuss this earlier. Please don’t give me the evil eye at lunch tomorrow. I love you!)

Jerkfaces

Until the Top Ten moment though, I was actually having fun with my date. He was charming, sweet, very attentive and his eyes sparkled. (In fact – they still do.)  But I knew I had forever blown a chance of a date number three because of the whole cookie tossing thing.

Crazy thing is – he asked me out again, and again, and again – and then we were dating.  He cooked for me, listened to me, made me laugh, wrote me letters even though we saw each other every day, opened all doors for me. And he would wink this cute little wink every time I made eye contact with him.  It was crazy – because he was not my “type”, but I was head over heels in love. One day as I was laying on the floor of his apartment watching TV and he was sitting on the couch, I turned around and looked at him and said, “You wanna’ get married?”  and then he said “Sure.”  

So we did. I going to skip all the parts where we had only been dating a month and a half before this happened, and the part where we told my parents and they flipped out, and the part where I told my college roommate I was moving out of the dorm room, and the part where we got married just 3 months later. (Hi again wonderful parents! Sorry about all of that. I know I was a self-centered brat – but look how well it turned out!)

And a 13 year old, 12 year old, 8 year old, countless pets and 19 Years later, SAH still cooks, cleans, makes my plates, does the laundry, dishes, listens, loves and winks.  He and my mother’s birthdays are two days apart. She’s a teacher and he’s about to graduate with his teaching degree. And I’m pretty sure they are BFFs.  They talk on the phone more than she and I do! For reals.

I am my dad. A lovable, funny hard-worker who is sometimes a brat (please disregard that SAH & Mom would probably use the word “always” in front of brat). So, I married my mother. He says, “Welcome home honey,” and the kids and I wrestle on the bed and play video games while he finishes dinner.  

Us. One of my friends took this picture with her phone at another friend’s birthday. I use it a lot because we both look super cute. I hope she doesn’t like start charging me to use or something. You won’t, will you?

Oh – we’ve had just as many valleys as we have had peaks and somewhere along this blog journey you will read all about it. (Yes – you’re going to read my blog forever. Geez Louise – you love it. Duh.) 

But the thing that I want you to take from this is that a) SAH is a really great guy and b) Vomit can be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.